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“One of the best things I have done as a parent, for myself and for Ayla and our relationship, is join the Healing Parents Community by Gabrielle Blanco, who is a Parent Coach.

And, I, you know, started out parenting very terrified that I was going to hurt Ayla the way that I was hurt, but somehow it would be worse for her.

And so I was all over doing the research, you know, and I ended up in Gabriela's corner of Instagram. And I took this course, her conscious parenting course, and have been in her community ever since for like the past four years.

So the caption said, "Gabrielle", but her name is Gabriela.

When I took this course, it was like a breath of fresh fucking air because finally I had found someone who was teaching conscious parenting in a way that was not performative. It was like really compassionate, you know, based on neuroscience and like child development.

And also wasn't super white. So much of conscious and respectful parenting is by, and for white people. And I knew that was not going to work for me. Not just because Ayla's mixed, but because whiteness has never done parenting well.

But the thing that really has changed my life being in this community (and yeah, I'm in the bathtub because my whole back has a crick in it from sleeping wrong the other night. And apparently that's all it takes anymore.)

But, what I'm trying to say is what makes this community special is the community itself. This is not a community where you get, like, tips and tricks for parenting. Gabriela focuses, you know, so much on the parent-child relationship, and within that piece, the parent's experience.

So a lot of conscious parenting and parenting education in general will focus on like the child and their behavior, or like at best, like what you need to do as a parent to heal so you can show up for your child better. But this community is so cool because there is so much respect and care and attention just for us parents.

So being in the community at this point for me, after having taken the course, is like, we have our zoom calls twice monthly, and they are some of my favorite parts of the month, and they are like my anchor points in parenting. Because they're where I see my people, most of whom took the course with me, you know, four years ago. So like we've been going through parenting for a long time with each other. And, uh, we'll share some bright spots at the moment. And then we can ask a question about a parenting struggle or having or something that we need guidance on or just something to celebrate and share. And usually Gabriela responds with like really solid perspective.

And I know I'm being long winded here, but I don't even care because I love this place so much and it means so much to me.

And, yeah, so the other piece of what we do in our calls is something called Listening Time. And it's like a Hand in Hand Parenting practice, but there's different versions of it. Basically, it's like you spend a certain amount of time sharing and processing and listening, and this is the place where I've done some of my deepest healing, because this is the place where I process like what you think of as "triggers," you know, in parenting, which, are just so real; "trauma llama red pajama," you know, is always there.

And I say trigger kind of like in jest because it's such a trope of like, "if you're trying to parent differently, do some deep breathing when you're triggered so that you don't yell at your kid” kind of thing. But I think what I've experienced in this group is so much deeper than that. It's been like such a beautiful experience of really loving and accepting all of the parts of myself, especially the parts that are so painful that come up in parenting, and have other people around me who can witness me and be there with me in it.

I think that's what really sets this group apart. Because there's so much parenting education, but you can know all the fucking shit in the world. But if you are trying to do it alone, uh, in my experience, it always goes south and by "always go south" I just mean like, yeah, we really were never supposed to parent alone. We were never supposed to parent in isolation. And as someone who does parent alone a lot, having people who I can rely on emotionally to listen, who cared deeply about me and Ayla and themselves and their own kids in the world and the connection between all of it has really just been all the difference for me.

And it's changed how I've shown up in other relationships in my life.

And I think one of the coolest things too, is I remember like being pregnant and just already knowing, understanding deeply that my relationship with Ayla and Ayla’s relationship with herself, like her being okay in the world, was gonna matter, like depend so much on me, and my relationship with myself and just generally, but also as a white mom and her being a mixed black kid. I knew I was gonna have to do a lot, a lot of work. But I didn't realize that I didn't have to do it all alone.

And parenting to me has been such a healing journey because it has been a journey of being willing to let myself be cared for and supported.

Which has really changed how I care and support myself, and care and support other people and just show up in the world. It's pretty incredible how like, how possible it is to break cycles when you are well supported as a parent.

Okay, last thing I'll say is that there are so many cool people in this group. That's another reason I love this group is because I've just connected with people like all around the states, and world, which is incredible. Like people, there's a lot of like family and child-serving professionals, mental health professionals in this group, coincidentally. Which is cool, mostly because they just are people who care so deeply about their kids and the world.

Yeah, and then Gabriela herself is just incredible, I love her. She is so good at not only like knowing her shit about parenting and children and what everyone needs. But also she is so good at just pointing you back to yourself and your own wisdom and your own goodness as a parent. She's by no means a guru. She teaches, but yeah, she is one of the best of the best.

Okay. Out of the bath. Thanks for listening. That was a nice monologue.

Yeah, I think if you are a parent who is trying to parent consciously, break cycles, heal and grow alongside your kid, definitely check out Gabriela's work. I know she is starting her conscious parenting course, which will last several weeks next week. She does that once a year. And that is a place to get immediate, tangible and really meaningful support. Which I just love to recommend because I know what parenting education and support there is available. I do it in my free time and I also do it for my job. And she is really just special. So if that resonates, go check her out.”